This is such a difficult situation, and unfortunately one that is very familiar to many of us in hospice work — and to me personally as well.
It truly sounds like you are doing a wonderful job supporting both the patient and his wife through something incredibly painful. In many ways, they are both grieving the loss of the retirement years they had hoped to share together.
One suggestion regarding their child’s wedding would be to consider having a caregiver attend the wedding with him. That way, the caregiver can focus on his personal needs during the celebration, allowing the family to be more present and enjoy the occasion without carrying the constant worry of caregiving responsibilities.
Another option, which I personally did for my father who also had Parkinson’s Disease and could not attend a family wedding, was to create a celebration at home with him. We made the day feel special with wedding-style foods, hors d’oeuvres, a beautiful dinner, and dessert. My family FaceTimed throughout the event, and I shared the television screen so he could watch, interact, and feel included in the joy of the day. It was not the same as being there in person, but it helped him feel connected and remembered.
Our hospice team has also used volunteers to help create meaningful moments for patients who could not attend important events. We have celebrated weddings, graduations, and family milestones alongside patients while their loved ones attended in person. Those gestures have been deeply meaningful for families.
Please do not feel discouraged. You and your team are doing everything you can to support this family with compassion and creativity. It is important to acknowledge how hard this is, while also helping the family understand that they still need permission to continue living, celebrating, and experiencing joy. Hospice can help the patient remain connected to those moments in different ways, with the support of the entire team.